Wow! I know I’m going to sound old here but it’s the year TWO-THOUSAND-EIGHTEEN! That just seems…so futuristic/sci-fi-ish! lol I always here around this time of year people ask where our flying cars are. Honestly, I’d much rather have the totally self-driving car than have to learn to fly a car. I could nap, watch TV, read, do whatever I like while I travel to wherever I need to go. Not to mention the cutbacks on car crashes.
But that’s not really what I wanted to talk about this post. Every year, around this time of year, we hear about New Year resolutions and people determined to get into better shape, lose weight, etc. Gym memberships soar in January and by March, are seldom used. I’m not knocking people who make these resolutions; getting into better shape is a good goal, as is losing weight if you need to. However, I personally think that New Year resolutions are a bunch of hogwash promoted by the media.
Don’t get me wrong, whenever there are milestones in our lives or change, it’s natural for us as human beings to reflect on where we are, where we’ve been and where we want to be in the future. Setting goals is a good thing. We need to grow and change, not just exist. Trying to better ourselves in any aspect is admirable. But this shouldn’t be a ‘oh-it’s-New-Year’s-so-I-have-to-make-resolutions-that-I-don’t-intend-to-keep’ kind of thing. If you see a need in your life to make changes, you should set goals to do it. Work on them a little at a time, celebrating each accomplishment and any progress. Pick yourself up, dust off and keep going when you fall down on the path to your goals. But make sure that you set goals that are reachable and do it for you…no one else. Because if you’re doing it for someone else or because you feel you have to but you really resent it or don’t want to, you are going to fail. You’re going to stop working towards that goal because it’s not what you really want.
So what do you do when you know you need to make changes but you really don’t want to? You have to make yourself want to. Yeah, that sounds easy right? lol Well, it starts with small changes in your thought pattern. Little changes in habits, realizations, research, meditation, self-searching. What am I rambling about, you may ask? Well, let’s look at an example.
Let’s say that a man smokes and he knows he needs to quit but he really doesn’t have the motivation or desire to. He enjoys smoking, it relaxes him and he resents people telling him what he should or shouldn’t do, even if it’s for his own good. So how does he start to want to make the changes, take the steps, to stop smoking? Maybe he loves his family and doesn’t want to endanger them so he starts smoking outside or away from home. That’s a start. Maybe mentally and consciously he knows that it can cause cancer but he doesn’t really know what all that involves and means or what other major health risks and dangers attributed to smoking. So he does research and talks to or reads about people’s lives who have had major issues because of their past smoking.
Maybe that’s not enough to motivate him, but it gets him thinking. When he has to choose between his cigarettes and something else that he’d like to buy and his ingrained habit starts to cause him to choose the cigarettes, maybe he stops for a moment and realizes that he never seems to have enough money for everything. So he starts saving receipts and keeping track of how much he’s spending on his smoking habit. Maybe the shock of that starts him thinking that he would like to change.
He knows that smoking is hard to quit. He’s tried it before but never was able to stop for long. But after thinking about it, he realizes that he never really wanted to quit. He was just going through the motions. But the motivation of the love of his family, the medical conditions and expenses, the cost of buying cigarettes…concentrating and thinking about these over and over makes him want to eventually change and so he tries harder. Will he relapse on occasion? Probably. But if he really wants it, he will eventually obtain his goal and be smoke-free.
Goals are like that. So make goals and resolutions because you have thought about it and really want to. Don’t do it because someone tells you it’s the right thing to do or the right time. The motivation to change and the drive to do it has to come from inside. Write the goals down. Write down all the details…what you want to change, why, how you plan to do it, how you plan to reward yourself when you reach the goal. Get a buddy or friend or family member to help you. Don’t resent them for reminding you of your goals. Take a deep breath and thank them. If you decide to give up for a while, think about why and when you plan to pick it back up, if ever. Try to live life and direct it, not just react to it and go through the motions.
If you are making resolutions this year, I’d like to know what you personally plan on working towards if you’d like to share.