Ok so I left my husband in May of 2015 and hadn’t gone back to that house except to move some things when I got an apartment in July and to drop something off. Both of those times were within the first couple of months after I left. We finally had it out and he bullied and dared me into filing for divorce in May of 2016. It was final in September and in the divorce agreement, he had agreed to buy me out of the marital home, and I would no longer be responsible for any money going towards that house. He was supposed to buy me out by the end of the year (2016).
Well he had a couple of health issues, and I am not an unfeeling person so I made some payments to help him out until the time he said he would not only be able to take over all expenses with the house but get me the money to buy me out. One thing I will say for my ex is he is a very smooth talker…a born salesman. He will make you believe just about anything and feel sorry for him with the best sob stories. But it’s all BS and eventually people figure that out. When I called him on his bluff and told him I wanted the house to sell as he hadn’t been able to buy me out (as was the agreement in writing), he first tried asking for more time (which I wouldn’t agree to), then he started to threaten me and get nasty. I wasn’t going to throw him out of his house! (Ironic since when he wanted money from me it was “our house”.)
I had been nothing but reasonable. I think helping him out with payments about 9 months after I was supposed to was more than generous, but as long as we owned the house I was still tethered to him and that wasn’t the arrangement we had agreed to. I pointed all of this out in an email and said that technically, if I pushed and wanted to be nasty back, I could ask the court to force him to reimburse me for what money I had put in since the divorce. That’s when he hit the roof and decided to try to bully me more. I was ‘trying to destroy his life’ and ‘stealing’ from him. I was not going to get any more money out of him. I was not going to force him out of his home. I would get my money when he had it and not before!
So I hired a lawyer. I had let him sweet-talk, bully, threaten, override, walk-over, and push me around all of our married life and he was still trying to do it. No more. I was not going to be pushed around anymore, and I was going to force him to give me what he promised just once in the time that I had known him. I called his bluff and, even though my lawyer informed me that I had the right to ask for more if I wanted it, I kept my demands to what we had agreed to and to be reimbursed for the money I had put in after the divorce. I would have let that go without resentment or anger if he had simply been reasonable and done as we agreed.
Well the end result is that yesterday the house sold, my half of the money plus what I had put into that house since the divorce is being wired to me today and I am finally free. We had no kids thankfully, so I have no reason anymore to fear him, talk to him, take his calls or emails. I’m closing the book on a very painful and long section of my life and it’s looking nothing but up! I feel lighter…a weight has been lifted and so much of my stress is gone. While I’m not rich by any means, I have a little nest egg for emergencies and to invest for retirement or what-have-you. I admit that I’m honestly thinking of taking a nice vacation as well. I’m happy and feel like I could fly.